


To Die Alone

by OneWhoSitsWithTurtles



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canon Compliant, Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Lovers, First Kiss, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, M/M, Major Character Injury, Near Death Experiences, Post-Canon, Protectiveness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-20 19:47:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15541674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneWhoSitsWithTurtles/pseuds/OneWhoSitsWithTurtles
Summary: Ren and Hux have never been more at odds than after the Battle of Crait, but when Ren finds Hux alone and dying after a planet-side mission gone wrong and saves him, they both realize that they can be so much more than enemies.





	To Die Alone

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I just needed some classic kylux fluff in my life.

Ren was walking leisurely down the corridor when his world tilted ever so slightly to the side. Ren stumbled to a stop, slamming his gloved hand against the wall to steady himself. Stormtroopers sent him sidelong looks and gave Ren a wide berth as they passed. Ren closed his eyes and took a deep breath, reaching out through the Force. Something was terribly wrong.

 

"Supreme Leader?"

 

Ren's eyes flashed open. Hux's favoured lieutenant, Mitaka, took a nervous half-step back from him. "What is it?" Ren asked, wondering if Mitaka had news that would explain the sense of wrongness lapping at Ren's mind.

 

Mitaka blinked owlishly at him. "Uh... I was going to ask you, sir. You look pale."

 

Ren pursed his lips. "Where is General Hux? I need to speak with him immediately," Ren demanded. He and Hux were still ironing out their differences ever since Ren had usurped the throne Hux felt was his, but there was still no one more competent on board. If there was something wrong Hux probably already knew about it and was halfway through solving it.

 

"I believe he's still planet-side assessing the landscape for the new mining facility," Mitaka answered with a frown. "Is there anything I can help with?"

 

"No, I need the General," Ren said and walked past Mitaka. "I will be taking my shuttle to the surface to meet with him."

 

"O-okay," Mitaka's voice trailed after him. Ren knew the lieutenant was baffled that the two highest-ranking officers would both be off the ship at once but Ren didn't have the time to explain himself.

 

Ren ranked highest in the First Order so there was no one he needed approval from for takeoff. He settled into the pilot seat of his personal shuttle and powered on the engines quickly. Within minutes he had taken off and was flying through the planet's cloud cover, struggling to focus beyond the nagging sense of urgency building in his head. Ren zeroed in on the signature of Hux's small vessel and touched down in the snow beside it.

 

As soon as he stepped outside Ren was buffered violently by the sharp, icy wind. The snow was up to his knees and was still falling in clumps from the sky. Ren saw a wave of Stormtroopers rushing through the snow towards their ship, filing up the loading ramp at the order of a petty officer shouting through the wind. Ren didn't see Hux anywhere and he felt his world tilt another inch to the side.

 

"Where is General Hux?" Ren shouted at the petty officer as he approached.

 

The young man jumped a foot in the air and spun to face him. "Supreme Leader!" he yelped in acknowledgement.

 

"The General!" Ren ground out, teeth clenched together. Behind the officer Ren saw more Stormtroopers, these ones unconscious and bloody and being carried on board by their team members.

 

The officer pointed towards the nearby forest, trees laden with heavy snow. "We were attacked by a creature native to the planet while we were surveying. The General ordered that we retreat while he distracted it and allowed the largest number of us to escape alive."

 

 Ren's vision turned red. His jaw ached with how tightly he was clenching his teeth now. "You left the General to fend off a hostile creature alone?" he spat.

 

"We were following orders," the officer defended weakly.

 

"You were just thinking about your own life!" Ren accused and started to dash his way through the growing snow drifts. It was easy to find the right direction, running along the path the retreating Stormtroopers had taken. A few scattered droplets of blood along the way and the occasional abandoned dead body had Ren powering up his lightsaber as he sped up.

 

Ren's throat felt raw from his heavy breathing and the icy air but he kept pushing past the tree line and into the swaying forest. He slowed only when he stumbled upon the smoking corpse of what looked like a massive ground sloth. Its fur was matted and thick, white except for bright red blood around its muzzle and five-inch long claws. It was easy to see the smoking holes that had been shot into its side; seven shots to fell the beast.

 

Beyond the beast a flash of black caught Ren's eye and his world flipped upside down entirely. Hux was crumpled at the base of a nearby tree, unmoving except for the billowing of his greatcoat as the wind snatched at it. As Ren raced closer he took in more gruesome details; skin nearly as pale as the snow, blood in his mouth, arm at an unnatural angle, breathing harsh and uneven.

 

"Hux!" Ren shouted over the wind as he fell to his knees next to the General. Hux's lashes fluttered as he looked up at Ren, gaze hazy with pain.

 

"Ren," Hux greeted him, trying and failing to mute his groan of pain.

 

"What happened?" Ren questioned urgently, trying to assess Hux's status.

 

Hux opened his mouth to answer but instead of words, Hux vomited up bright red blood. Ren reached forward to hesitantly hold Hux still until he was finished. Clearly there was internal bleeding and at least a few broken bones. Ren would have pulled Hux into his arms and immediately run him back to the shuttle but Hux's lack of movement had him fearing a spinal injury. He even feared that moving Hux with the Force wouldn't keep his spine stable enough, instead knowing they would need a sturdy surface like a stretcher.

 

 _Look_ , Hux's voice invited Ren into his mind, deciding he was unable to answer verbally.

 

Ren brushed his fingers through Hux's mussed hair to touch his temple and the memory came fast and pained. He saw Hux spotting the creature for the first time and felt the adrenaline flooding Hux's veins. Ren heard Hux sending his troops to safety, and experienced Hux calculating his first three shots at the beast with his blaster. Four more shots struck the creature's side and before the beast fled, it took a violent swipe at Hux and sent him flying into the tree where he fell and stayed.

 

Ren came back to the present when he heard a wet, wounded chuckle from Hux. "I always thought... it would be you." Ren frowned in confusion until Hux's thoughts trickled through. Normally a mental fortress, Hux's mind was now open and unguarded. Hux was angry, terrified and certain he was going to die.

 

"Not today, Hux," Ren told him firmly, trying to hide how shaken Hux's thoughts had made him. In all the years Ren had known him, Hux had always been confident and unflappable. It had driven Ren to insanity when they were opposed but it had also kept Ren stable; Hux had always been the anchor Ren needed, even if he hadn't realized until now. To see Hux so broken and fragile shook Ren to his core. Hux didn't even respond which twisted Ren's stomach into knots. He could see that Hux was starting to visibly tremble from the cold, the movement jostling his shattered body and shaking a sob from Hux's lungs. Ren yanked off his cloak and wrapped it around Hux's body, trying to protect him from the snow and wind.

 

Ren didn't know exactly how long Hux had been out here but Ren knew he needed to get Hux to the medbay and out of the cold as soon as possible. There was no knowing how long Hux could survive his injuries and fight off hypothermia. "I'm going to prove you wrong," Ren tried to tease, taking them back to their years of bickering and competition. "I'll bring my shuttle closer and get you back to the ship. Just hold on."

 

"Kylo." The hand of Hux's unbroken arm caught Ren's wrist, stopping Ren before he could fully stand. Hearing his first name from Hux's bloodied lips stilled him as effectively as Hux's hand. "I don't want to die alone."

 

"You aren't dying at all today," Ren insisted, placing his hand atop Hux's own.

 

"Please don't leave," Hux whispered. A few tears were falling from his eyes and freezing on Hux's cheeks.

 

Ren squeezed Hux's hand in what he hoped was a comforting manner. At the same time Ren cast his thoughts out through the Force, seeking the mind of the petty officer on Hux's shuttle. Fury erupted within Ren when he found the officer through the Force and realized they were already fleeing the atmosphere. With a viciousness barely contained Ren clawed into the officer's mind and replaced all individual thoughts with Ren's order to return to the surface and lead a rescue mission. He felt the officer's entire body tense under Ren's anger but the order was spoken and the shuttle began to slow and turn.

 

Ren disconnected from the officer's mind, certain that the young man couldn't ignore Ren's order even if he tried. "They're coming, Hux. They'll be here soon. _Hux_?" Ren's voice sharpened with worry when he saw Hux's eyes had closed and his breathing had turned shallow. "Hux, look at me." He tapped Hux's icy cheek nervously and exhaled heavily when Hux groaned and looked at him through lidded eyes. Hux's gaze was out of focus and Ren knew Hux was fading. Ren adjusted Hux's body as much as he dared, wincing at Hux's sharp cry as Ren got him from his side to flat on his back and slightly propped up against the tree roots. Then Ren knelt above him, holding their bodies as close as he was willing to risk to share heat.

 

"Hux," Ren called out to him and felt sick when Hux didn't respond. Ren cupped Hux's cheek and leaned closer. " _Armitage_ ," he said the name he had never dared speak aloud, latching onto Hux's drifting mind at the same time. At last Hux opened his eyes and focused on Ren's face, more tears spilling free. "Talk to me, okay? Tell me more about how bad I am at being Supreme Leader."

 

His words startled a chuckle out of Hux before he winced and Ren smiled in response. "You are a terrible Supreme Leader."

 

"Without you I think there would have been a mutiny already," Ren admitted with a laugh.

 

Hux's smile had turned to a grimace with his ongoing pain but he nodded minutely. "I've already quelled two attempts."

 

Ren had sensed the dissent through the Force but he hadn't known Hux was responsible for stopping it. This was the first time Hux's mind was open to him. "Why did you? I'm surprised you didn't let them tear me apart."

 

When Hux started to drift again, head lolling to the side, Ren kept their eyes locked with his hand still cupping Hux's cheek. "You're a good bullet magnet," Hux told him with a weak but present smirk.

 

Nearby Ren heard the whir of Hux's shuttle setting down at the tree line. Ren checked in to make sure they were bringing a stretcher and then returned his focus back to Hux. "Help is nearly here. You'll live long enough to steal my title someday."

 

Disbelief, relief and gratitude swelled within Hux's mind and cascaded over into Ren through their temporary connection. There was also tiredness within Hux and a simmering dread Ren didn't understand. Before he could ask about it, Ren heard the tramping of boots through the snow and they were soon surrounded. The stretcher was set in the snow and Ren moved Hux onto it with the aid of two Stormtroopers to avoid unnecessarily jostling of his broken body.

 

Four Stormtroopers held the four corners of the stretcher and lifted Hux out of the snow. Ren shifted his cloak and tucked it around Hux to keep it from flying away. He stayed right by Hux's elbow while they walked back to the shuttle, awareness almost solely on Hux to ensure he didn't fade at the last minute. When they reached the loading ramp Ren felt Hux calling for him in his mind. _Kylo_.

 

Ren grabbed Hux's hand and the Stormtroopers paused mid-step at the base of the ramp. "I'll meet you in the medbay," he promised. "You work on a list of all the things I'm doing wrong." In Hux's head Ren pleaded, _don't fade on me_.

 

"It's a long list," Hux teased through his pain. _Be fast_.

 

Ren nodded and let go of Hux's hand, sending the Stormtroopers and petty officer into the shuttle with the stretcher. As soon as the ramp was closed Ren rushed back to his own shuttle, following mere minutes behind Hux into the atmosphere. He would deal with the cowardly officer later but for now he was focused on returning to Hux's side. There was a flurry of activity in the hangar when Ren landed, news spreading like wildfire that the General was severely injured. By the time Ren made it to the medbay, Hux had already been taken into surgery. Ren was so choked with panic when he reached out and couldn't feel Hux's consciousness but was reassured by a doctor that Hux had merely been sedated for the surgeons to do their work. He was forced to sit in a corner of the private room set aside for the General and wait.

 

It was three hours of surgery before Hux was brought out of the operating room. Ren's heart jumped and then sank when they wheeled Hux past the room and towards the bacta tanks. Hux was lifted down into the gel of one tank where he was suspended, torso bare and hair floating loosely around his head. Ren could see stitching on Hux's left side and his left upper arm, and horrible bruising across the planes of his back.

 

The head doctor came over to him and read out the laundry list of injuries: broken humerus, ruptured spleen, collapsed lung and four broken ribs across his back. "We need to keep him in the gel so he stays stable until everything starts to recover," she told him. "After that we'll be able to move him into a bed and start his physical therapy."

 

"How long?" Ren wondered, eyes not straying from Hux's peaceful face. It was the first time he had seen Hux look so serene and it made his heart ache in ways he didn't understand.

 

"Two days, maybe three," the doctor answered. "We can ping your datapad when he wakes up."

 

Ren shook his head. "I will be here when he wakes up."

 

#

 

Two days passed and Ren had moved his chair from beside the bacta tank to the private medical room where Hux was moved. He had left the medbay only long enough to eat and take care of his personal hygiene, choosing to doze fitfully in the chair by Hux's side. Operations on board had ground to a halt and Ren would gladly accept Hux's chiding for being distracted if only to be reassured that Hux was back to normal. Hux had been cleaned and settled on the bed propped up on pillows and doctors buzzed around him. When Hux woke up a few minutes later, his eyes turned instantly to Ren and Ren felt a fluttering in his chest. Hux seemed tired and sore but he answered the doctor's questions and tests until they were confident he was on the mend and just needed rest and therapy.

 

"I see you can keep at least one promise," Hux said when they were left alone in the room.

 

"Of course," Ren chuckled. "This one was important to keep." Hesitantly Ren reached forward and when Hux didn't withdraw, Ren held his hand.

 

Hux eyed their joined hands. "I'm still surprised you didn't just finish me off. I always thought you would be the one to kill me in the end."

 

"Well that's pretty idiotic of you," Ren said. Hux raised a questioning, unimpressed eyebrow at his words. "I can't imagine doing all this without you."

 

Hux pursed his lips and Ren was certain he was trying to mask a smile. "You would make quite a mess of things."

 

"I would," Ren confessed, surprising Hux again. Though Hux was not fully healed, he had regained control of his mental barriers. Still, Ren remembered the exhaustion and dread Hux had felt when Hux realized he was going to live. It had filled Ren with a heavy sadness, acknowledging that he knew less about Hux than he had assumed but also wanting to change that. "What were you thinking when I told you help was coming?"

 

"What do you mean?" Hux said cautiously.

 

Hux started pulling his hand away. Ren tightened his hold and Hux let him. "I could sense your thoughts while you were out there. I didn't understand your tiredness or dread."

 

"It's rude to read my thoughts without permission," Hux grumbled and then sighed, seemingly resigned to explain anyway. "For a few minutes I thought it was over. I didn't want it to be over; there's so much more for me to do. But then I decided I could rest at last and I'll admit part of me was relieved." Ren swept his thumb over the back of Hux's hand, drawing his gaze back. "The thought of coming back to all this became... daunting."

 

"All this?" Ren echoed, prompting Hux to continue.

 

Hux slowly pried his hand from Ren's grasp. "Fighting you day after day along with the rest of the universe, it seems."

 

This wasn't what Ren had expected, but he suddenly felt his heart rate picking up speed. "What do you want instead?"

 

Now Hux looked away, hands laced in his lap. "It doesn't matter."

 

"Hux," Ren leaned closer and cupped Hux's cheek the way he had in the forest, turning Hux's face toward him. "Armitage," Ren amended. "Please tell me."

 

The fragility Ren had seen in the forest was back, but this time it was emotional rather than physical. Hux weathered his bottom lip and then took a deep breath. "Don't flatter yourself. It's not like I've been pining these last few years. But when I was in the snow and dying I was alone and scared and I realized at the end you were the only one I wanted to be there with me. The way you took care of me..." Hux met Ren's searching eyes. "I didn't want to go back to being enemies."

 

"Why do we have to?" Ren questioned carefully. "When I saw you in the snow and felt you fading I've never been more terrified. Nothing seemed to have a point if you were gone," Ren spoke earnestly. "Let's work together for a change and see where it leads."

 

Hux considered him for a long minute and then nodded in agreement. "You owe me a promotion," Hux pointed out with a small smirk.

 

"As soon as you decide your title I'll announce it," Ren promised.

 

High on relief and a new but exciting warmth taking root in his chest, Ren leaned in and quickly pressed their lips together. There was a brief moment where Hux's soft lips yielded beneath Ren's own before Hux placed a hand on Ren's chest and shoved in back. "What the kriff was that?"

 

"The physical manifestation of my relief that you're not dead," Ren said honestly, not knowing how else to describe what he was feeling.

 

Hux hummed in thought, studying Ren's face and slowly reaching forward to dig both hands into Ren's hair. Hux's grip was nearly desperate and on the edge of painful but Ren didn't withdraw. "Good answer," Hux finally said and, with his fingers knotted in Ren's hair, reeled him into a deeper, demanding kiss. Ren surrendered to it willingly, satisfied when his world slowly but surely settled back into proper alignment.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on: [Tumblr](http://onewhositswiththeturtles.tumblr.com/), [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/onewhositswiththeturtles), or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/owswtt)


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